What does it mean?

What does it mean, that you can sleep?
Sleep with someone between your thighs.
What does it mean, that you can breathe?
Breathe the scent of someone else's skin.
What does it mean that you can laugh?
Laugh at someone else's jokes

What does it mean, if i can't sleep?
Sleep without you next to me
What does it mean, if i can't breathe?
No air smells right without your scent
What does it mean if i can't laugh?
Not like i used to, they way you used to make me

Why is it fair that you've found your feet?
Why is it fair that you've moved on?
Why is it fair that you've learnt to love?
Why can't i bring myself to try and touch?

What does it mean when he's older in age?
Age that was such a boundry between us both
What does it mean when he's similar to what you had?
Similar is not same, but neither is it different
What does it mean when he's not me?
Me who you swore was all you wanted

Why is it fair that you're happier now?
Why is it fair that you're giving more than before?
Why is it fair that you're willing to be smaller than what you were?
Why haven't i found anything that even remotely interests me?

What does it mean that you drift between your decisions?
Decisions that we've already mapped out in ink
What does it mean that you still need to explain?
Explain to justify and cleanse yourself
What does it mean that you haven't even tried?
Tried to hold on to what has always been yours

Why does it bother me about what you do?
Why do i care about your choices in life?
Why can't i bear to hear what they have to say about you?
Why haven't i burried you in my past?

I want to be able to look into her eyes without regret
I want to be able to touch her skin without feeling betrayal
I want to be able to taste her and not be reminded about you
What i want, and what i can
Oil and water, no pees in a pod

Sweet, scent, smell, succulent
Touch, tear, tame, tarnish,
Fear, falling, fight, feeling,
Harm, hell, hurt, heal,
Deep, dance, despair, damaged,
Beautiful, bosom, bliss, broken

Broken, damaged, heal,
Sweet, touch, fear,
Fear. Broken. Damaged.

Where have you gone?

Yes i know, that question is actually posed at me. It has been a while since my last entry. 2 months to be exact and so i finally decided to blog even if it mean just a short para or two.

Firstly, in the last 2 months i have set up a twitter account (sanjeevpalar) and since, have been using it to kind of share my thoughts, frustrations and exasperations almost instantaneously.

Also my beloved friend Rachel was wonderful enough to set up a Facebook Fan page for me, and i have to admit keeping those two platforms satiated has meant that i've really neglected his blog.

But in a way i think there's a silver lining to it all. Now i have two channels available for motor racing fans to share in my adventures and that incidentally frees up this blog for more personal expressions.

Haha, yes, i know that sounds all perfect on paper but will i ever get around to really putting to paper what's been going on in my life outside the realm of TV? well i guess we'll have to wait and see.

For now the biggest update i have for you is that i have finally made a commitment. It was a tough decision that i contemplated for quite a while, but in the end i felt that the timing was right and it was also a case of now or never.

And so i have committed to the Singapore FULL Marathon... yup all 42.195km.

The good news is that i won't be in it alone, Paula and Alex Yoong have signed up as well so we are all going to see how that pans out.

In the meantime, i just got back from an amazing time at the Spanish and Monaco GPs. Pics from the Monaco GP are on my Facebook fan page http://tinyurl.com/2av9opj

Enjoy

Malaysian GP... A work in progress

Tuesday

Was at Pavillion for the Lotus Racing Event. Forgot to use my camera there except to take this picture

Lovely Lotus Buds

From there, headed over to the Petronas Pit Pulse near KLCC. Saw Dina perform. Haven't seen her since the Malaysian Idol days. Good thing was that Mr Schumacher was on time and with him came Nico Rosberg, Ross Brawn and Norberg Haug. Jien was the emcee.

Dina under the spotlight

He came...

He interviewed...

He left...

It was a rather decent appearance. The crowd could have been better but i blame the rain. Those who were there were clearly delighted to have had the chance to see the legend. Pity they didn't have a change to get autographs...

New Man Malaysia

I know it's been a couple of weeks since the opening round of the Formula 1 season in Bahrain and i really want to blog about that experience as well as an amazing time i had at a small Spanish circuit in Almeria.

But while i get around to working out the words for those adventures, here's a very generous article that was published in New Man Magazine (Malaysia), March 2010 edition. Enjoy.

 

 

 

Welcome 2010

Alright, i know, i'm guilty. It happens. You create a blog, you start blogging and then one day you loose the mojo and your blog sits abandoned. Unattended. Deserted.

Well i fell into that trap. Yes, i did. of course i could come up with a millions reasons to justify my laziness. It was the end of the season, i was on holiday, backpacking in places so beautiful that the last thing i wanted to do was sit in front of a computer, i got back to work and got caught up with getting my life in order. I could go on, but i won't.

Let's just say i've got my second wind. The Formula 1 season is about to begin and i'm getting on a plane in a few hours. But before i head to Bahrain, i've got a detour to Almeria, Spain for an Engine Block assignment. Yup, the season is underway and i hope there will be many adventures in 2010.

And in keeping with the first posting of the year, i resolve to keep blogging about each and every one of them... as we say in TV land, stay tuned.